The hackneyed, trite, confounded...

...cliche. So abominable, so undesirable, so destructive. No better way to kill a conversation than to pull one of these out of your derriere. While I maintain that it is the French pronunciation that kills them (just imagine how cool they would be if they were pronounced "clish" as opposed to "clee-SHAY"), it is still worth sorting through them. Some are useless, some are horrendous, some are almost forgiveable. Let's get to it.



"All's well that ends well."

Horrendous. First of all, this is simply untrue. The Cold War ended well. This doesn't make me want to have another one (although, Left Thumb still thinks we are in one...) Second, if all parties agree that something ended well, why is there a need to superficially state that fact? And if parties are not all agreed, then... the pointlessness, amazingly, is enhanced.



"Better late then never."

Useless. Being late is very often not better than never. For instance, coming to the Beanie Baby craze late was okay... never finding it at all would have been preferable. Or, finding your pitching talent after you have already been traded from the Yankees is worse than never finding it. For the rest of your life you will regret your tardiness. For the rest of your life.



"You say tomato, I saw tomawto."

No you don't. NO ONE says tomawto.



"Time heals all wounds."

Almost useful. The only problem is...



"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Leading to the first rule of cliches: you can always find another cliche that says the exact opposite thing.



"Cleanliness is next to godliness."

Excuse me, I need to have a chat with the Almighty. Let me grab my Jergens.



"The plural of anecdote isn't data."

This one is almost forgiveable. Even I have been known to employ it from time to time, in a totally non-sarcastic fashion.

"Defense wins championships."

So does offense.

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

We have absolutely no reason to believe this. The most powerful people in the history of the world were not absolutely powerful. And even then, most of them were just as evil/not evil before they took power as after. Genghis Khan didn't start ravaging villages once he conquered over 2/3 of the world. He ravaged villages in order to conquer 2/3 of the world.

"All's fair in love and war."

No it isn't. The reason we go to war is almost entirely because we are attempting to seek just retribution for some horrible wrong done to us by someone we thought loved us. Now that I think about it, I should go invade Belgrade.

"Water under the bridge, over the dam, etc."

I actually like this one. For instance, once I make this post, if anything offends you, which it surely will, I will apologize, and then you'll say "Oh don't worry, it's water under the bridge..."

People are always telling me that.

~Right Thumb~